What does consent really mean?

Vavven Consent

We think the British Police have nailed the topic of sexual consent, so rather than listen to us, take 3 mins to watch (and share) this clip, or keep reading.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics – Personal Safety Survey 2012, 19.4% of women and 4.5% of men experienced sexual assault since the age of 15. It’s important you understand sexual consent, what it means and what it looks like.

How Do I Know If I Have Consent?

  • Consent can only be gained from a person of full mental faculties, not under the influence of drugs or persuasion i.e. involved by their own freewill.
  • Consent at the beginning of an act does not mean someone cannot change their mind or lose control. If this happens you no longer have consent and you should stop and ensure the person is safe.
  • Sex can only be great when everybody involved is enthusiastically engaged. Look for signs of enthusiastic consent such as verbal invitation, pulling you closer to them, asking for things, telling you what feels good.
  • Again, someone who may have enthusiastically consented at the start of play can also change their mind mid-act.

If you are unsure about consent, stop.

How Do I Ask For Consent?

Communication, communication, communication! Before, during and after. Create a safe and loving space. Even if you are ships passing in the night you can still be loving, respectful and care for the person you are with at the time.

Before

Just ask!

  • “I just want to make sure we are both into the same thing, would you like to … ? I’m also cool not doing anything”
  • “What would you like to do?”

This is also a great time to let your partner know your own limits.

During

Pillow talk is very sexy, use it to check on your partners willingness to remain involved.

  • “What feels good for you?”
  • “Do you like it when I …?”
  • “Tell me what you would like”
  • “Are you OK?”

After

  • “Thank you”
  • “What would make it better for you?”
  • “Are you OK?”

Laughing – Project Consent

If My Partner Said OK, Are There Cues They Didn’t Mean It?

Yes! You can be sure your partner is not feeling right about sex if they are doing any of the following

  • Not responding to your touch
  • Pushing you away
  • Holding their arms tightly around their own body
  • Turning away from you or hiding their face
  • Stiffening muscles

These are all good reasons to stop.

What If I Started It All And Now I’m Not Sure?

That is OK, you may have thought you were ready and you’re not, or you may not like something that is happening. Sex can only be great when everybody involved is enthusiastically engaged.

If you do not want what is happening, respect yourself and say so.

This could be “please stop, I’ve changed my mind” or “I need to go to the toilet” or “Can we talk?”

Take the time to talk to your partner and explain how you are feeling, give them the same respect you would want in the situation.

I’ve Been Led On

If you believe you are entitled to an act because you feel you were led on, or you are frustrated, or any other reason, well this behaviour is rapey and so not cool.

The best way to help yourself in this situation is ensure the other person is safe, find yourself a private place, and beat off! We’ve got lots of products to help with that part!

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Medical Disclaimer: You agree that any information contained in our Site or Materials or provided with our products is provided to you as a guide only and is not an attempt to practice medicine or provide medical advice. Such Materials and our product(s) are not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. We are not responsible for any health problems that may result for your use of our product(s) and Materials. Use of our Site and Materials does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. The Materials, our Site and our product(s) should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and/or treatment. Any health information in our Site or Materials is provided for your convenience only. The Site and Materials are intended for general information purposes only and do not take into account your own personal circumstances. They are not intended to be advice, they are not intended to be relied upon and they are not a substitute for professional medical advice based on your personal circumstances. You are solely responsible for determining the suitability of our product(s). Your reliance on any Materials or other information that is provided to you through our Site or with our product(s) is at your own risk. We accept no liability for any result, direct or indirect, of you using the product. If any symptoms or side effects occur you should stop using the product immediately and consult your doctor or medical professional. View full Terms and Conditions here.

A Guide To Worshipping The Penis

Vavven Worshipping The Penis Juliet Allen

Worshipping the penis…

There are some who view the penis as nothing more than a protruding long tool that is used with little sensitivity or thought … these people often feel resentment towards cock and can’t bare the thought of wrapping their mouth around it.

And then there are those who view the penis with adoration and love … who see it as a pure pleasure wand of light and sensuality, and invite it into their sacred space just as they would invite a God into their temple.

Are you ready to take your worship of cock to a whole new level? Are you ready to give your cock owner the love and adoration that they deserves? If you are, here’s a few ways you can embrace the beauty of your partner’s most prized possession:

Complement The Penis

Shower your partner with genuine, loving compliments about their penis. Tell them what you love about it … go out of your way to give them compliments.

Next time they are at work, send them a message telling them just one thing you love about their cock.

Next time you begin undressing them, touch their cock with love and stroke it whilst telling them how fu*cking hot their cock is.

Remember, be honest and sincere, only say things you truly mean and speak from your heart.

Receive it with love, whether that be in your pussy, mouth or ass

Adore it, touch it, caress it, lick it, kiss it, feel it in your mouth … worship their cock like a temple and, when you’re ready, receive it fully, allowing every inch to enter you with complete love and adoration.

Give your partner a lingam massage

Every penis loves having a good massaged.

Firstly, make sure your partner is comfortable and communicate to them that this is about their pleasure and that they have permission to just relax and enjoy.

Using organic coconut oil and warm hands, begin slowly with gently strokes and caresses.

Begin slowly, very slowly, make it last. Savour every single moment.

Don’t rush.

Stroke your partners perineum (the area between their balls and anus).

Ask what they enjoy.

Listen to their breathing and sounds.

Connect with your partners lingam with your heart.

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Medical Disclaimer: You agree that any information contained in our Site or Materials or provided with our products is provided to you as a guide only and is not an attempt to practice medicine or provide medical advice. Such Materials and our product(s) are not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. We are not responsible for any health problems that may result for your use of our product(s) and Materials. Use of our Site and Materials does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. The Materials, our Site and our product(s) should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and/or treatment. Any health information in our Site or Materials is provided for your convenience only. The Site and Materials are intended for general information purposes only and do not take into account your own personal circumstances. They are not intended to be advice, they are not intended to be relied upon and they are not a substitute for professional medical advice based on your personal circumstances. You are solely responsible for determining the suitability of our product(s). Your reliance on any Materials or other information that is provided to you through our Site or with our product(s) is at your own risk. We accept no liability for any result, direct or indirect, of you using the product. If any symptoms or side effects occur you should stop using the product immediately and consult your doctor or medical professional. View full Terms and Conditions here.

4 Communication Tips That Will Change Your Sex Life Instantly

Vavven Sex Life

We all know that great communication is the key to a great sex life, but the fact is, communicating about sex is easier said than done.

The topic of sex often feels awkward to bring up, plus it may trigger emotions within us that can leave us feeling vulnerable and raw.

So, how do we feel more comfortable talking about sex? And what’s the best way to bring it up with our partner?

Communication Tip #1 Get clear on your belief system surrounding sex

If you’re committed to a great sex life, it’s important that you explore what your values and beliefs are surrounding the topic of sex.

I recommend journaling about this and getting really clear on how you feel about it and what you want your sex life to look like.

When you have clarity around your views it’s easier to communicate them to your partner.

Communication Tip #2 Find someone outside your relationship to talk to you about sex

Sex is still somewhat taboo and this means that many of us keep quiet and don’t talk to anyone about it (let alone our partners).

If you want to feel more comfortable talking about sex, I recommend you find a sex coach or therapist to bounce ideas off and chat to.

This gives you a healthy, non-judgmental outlet to vent.

Communication Tip #3 Be open to listening and respecting the views of your partner

Stop thinking that you are ‘right’ and your partner is ‘wrong’.

You both have different views and experiences of sex, be open to listening to your partner and respecting what they say and how they feel.

Communication Tip #4 Feel confident in who you are sexually and what you stand for

Confidence is sexy!

Don’t hold back in embracing yourself as a sexual being and this will shine through in your communication.

Identify if you feel any shame and guilt around sex (most of us do) and do your best to deal with that (again, find a sex coach).

Once you’ve dealt with the guilt and shame you will feel more confident and able to embrace your true sexual nature.

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Medical Disclaimer: You agree that any information contained in our Site or Materials or provided with our products is provided to you as a guide only and is not an attempt to practice medicine or provide medical advice. Such Materials and our product(s) are not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. We are not responsible for any health problems that may result for your use of our product(s) and Materials. Use of our Site and Materials does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. The Materials, our Site and our product(s) should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and/or treatment. Any health information in our Site or Materials is provided for your convenience only. The Site and Materials are intended for general information purposes only and do not take into account your own personal circumstances. They are not intended to be advice, they are not intended to be relied upon and they are not a substitute for professional medical advice based on your personal circumstances. You are solely responsible for determining the suitability of our product(s). Your reliance on any Materials or other information that is provided to you through our Site or with our product(s) is at your own risk. We accept no liability for any result, direct or indirect, of you using the product. If any symptoms or side effects occur you should stop using the product immediately and consult your doctor or medical professional. View full Terms and Conditions here.